TANNIES ON DRUGS

Two white middle-aged women meet at Sandton for lunch. The conversation is not what you’d think.   “I might be a bit late,” texts the one. “I’m just doing a drug deal on the roof.” “Okay, what are you on?” “Cannabis oil, you?” “Magic Mushrooms.” I was privy to the whole tete-a-tete. Obviously, I did…

MY FEAR OF BEER

‘I like a good beer buzz early in the morning.’ sings Cheryl Crow. I wouldn’t know. I don’t like beer. I detest the stuff. I don’t understand how people can get so excited about that crisp swoosh sound as you crack it open. The delirium about the foamy head. And the celebration as the dewy…

THE LEOPARD, MELVILLE: SUICIDE AND SEX (NOT NECESSARILY IN THAT ORDER)

  ‘What the frock are you wearing?!’ I exclaim. ‘More importantly, how much do you charge per hour?’ Miss Violet looks scrumptious. We laugh heartily and hug. We are both wearing dresses/ skirts and lipstick – for the sheer hell of it. Lunch and lipstick. ‘Frock Friday.’ The Leopard in Melville was the lucky recipient…

DULLSTROOM (DIE WORS WAS SO VARS, DIT WAS NOG AAN DIE BOER)

  1 January. Firstly, I would like to say I am glad I am still alive. To be more clear, I am surprised I am still alive. I was supposed to be at the Health Hydro, ushering in the new year sober, healthy and pure. Well, things did not quite work out that way. Instead,…